. . . I simultaneously laughed, died a little inside and threw up in my own mouth.  Only a special film like Midget Zombie Takeover can make that happen!

If you’re a zombie movie snob lacking a sense of humor and demanding perfection, let’s save you some time. You won’t like this film.  However, if you have an open mind and a love of cheesy bad Z movies, you should read on.

I like low budget and indie films. That’s even more true when it’s  a horror film. Give me a low budget zombie film and I’m in heaven. Midget Zombie Takeover is a blend of all those things.  Let’s get one thing clear. This movie isn’t supposed to be taken seriously. It’s bad and it’s supposed to be.  After all this film does come from Glenn Berggoetz, the same man that brought us 2011’s aptly titled film, The Worst Movie EVER!  This isn’t supposed to be big budget zombie perfection.  It’s the undead antithesis of that.  It’s a fun zombie film that makes fun of itself over and over again throughout the film.  It’s low budget, it’s corny and that’s why I liked it.

I knew to fully expect this movie was going to be different. With it’s paltry budget of $2,000 and a title like Midget Zombie Takeover, I was well aware this wasn’t going to be your typical zombie film.  With all that knowledge I was still a little worried during the first 10 minutes or so. The first 10 minutes of this film drag on just long enough that you start to worry maybe this is supposed to be a serious film.

I have to admit at first I was REALLY worried.  It all started with some opening credits.   Opening credits that are waaaaay too long.  It was a full 3 minutes and 15 seconds of black screen and white text credits before the film finally starts.  That might not sound long but try it. Stare at a clock for 3 and a quarter minutes.  In today’s ADHD instant gratification world that’s an eternity. In all fairness I watched a review copy of the film so I’m not sure if this is the exact version shown in theaters.  Suffice it to say, if I wasn’t giving this my full attention for purposes of review the first 3 minutes of this movie would have quickly disappeared thanks to the skip button.

When the actual film finally starts it focuses on one of the main characters, Amanda.  It seems her grandmother fell and her parents are going out of town for the weekend to take care of her. Of course for any young adult left home alone this can mean only one thing….HOT TUB PARTY!  She quickly invites a group of friends over to get the party started. Things move a little slowly at first. There’s some idle chit chat and joking around and then the teens decide to play some badminton.

And play badminton they do.  In another painfully long stretch we watch the actors play badminton for what seems like an eternity.  The pointless Badminton starts at around 8:15 in and doesn’t end until nearly the 11:00 minute mark. Fortunately by then a young actress by the name of Cassandra Craword playing Molly has entered the story. She’s enough eye candy in her pink bikini to keep my attention.  Yes..according to the internet she’s of legal age so I need not feel guilty about admiring her ;).

Fortunately, the  corny comedy starts as the painful badminton ends.

One of the players hits the shuttlecock over the fence.  It’s picked up by the weird neighbor who quips “Looks like someone lost control of their c*ck.”  I breathed a sigh of relief at this trite line.  At that moment I knew MZT was going to be a lighthearted movie and not some horribly awful attempt at a serious zombie horror movie.  The strange man warns them of their impending doom.  It turns out there’s a full moon, Jupiter is in the house of Sagittarius and the beasts will rise and develop a taste for human flesh. Yep. You read that right. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but in the end you just accept it because it’s easier that way.

Of course the kids dismiss the man and his crazy warnings. When Amanda tells him to just give the shuttlecock back, crazy guy fires back, “The c*ck can’t save you!” There you have it folks. Not one, but two, shuttlecock jokes in the first 12 minutes. That may be a new record!  Crazy guy exits the scene by yelling, “You’re doomed….doomed…..still doomed” as he runs, zig zags and circles around the lot next door.

It turns out Crazy guy isn’t so crazy. Within the next couple of minutes the first zombie, a midget zombie, makes it’s appearance.

“Is that a zombie?” someone asks. Randy replies, “If it is…it’s the cutest zombie ever.”  The zombie ends up biting him on his leg and everyone runs inside to safety, leaving Randy to the zombies.  Just as he’s headed inside , a character named Steve has a revelation on just how wrong it is to leave something he cares about behind.  Empowered by this moment of clarity he risks his own life and runs back outside to rescue his burger from the grill.

Eventually everyone takes refuge down in Amanda’s basement where more drama and slapstick ensues.   The phones and TV are out and the group is effectively cut off from the outside world.  Isolated in Amanda’s basement, the group makes their ill conceived plans for getting help or escaping.  They execute one half-brained idea after another. Each one typically ending with one or two characters heading off alone in their conquest. Of course, each plan usually ends with the character’s death as a result.

Does anyone escape the Midget Zombie Takeover? Is humanity doomed? You’ll have to watch Midget Zombie Takeover to find out!

What We Loved:

• It’s so bad it’s good. Really. This is one of those corny low budget films that is so bad you’ll enjoy it.

• The recurring jokes. There are quite a few little jokes that keep recurring throughout the film.  Look for the “there, there” reference. Any time someone dies or something bad happens the effected survivor is comforted with some petting and the phrase, “There. There.”

• Another favorite is the phrase “Crazed freak zombies.” All of the characters intentionally overuse this phrase, or some similar variation thereof, when referring to the zombies.  Someday I plan to re-watch this film just to count them all!

• We loved poor Billy.  He’s the misunderstood big guy that everyone picks on.  The outcast that many of us can identify with.

• The midget zombie(s). Seriously most of the zombies aren’t midgets. There seems to be one main midget zombie that has a habit of inexplicably appearing in just the right spot at just the right time to get the kill.  Midgets or not we loved the shambling zombies and their makeup.

• The makeup. Considering the almost nonexistent budget, I was pleasantly surprised with the makeup. The crew did a good job with what limited resources they had.

• The mercy killing of Molly. After she’s bitten the group decides they must do the right thing for her and the safety of the group. How do they end her life? They make poor billy sit on her face and smother her of course!

• At one point Tony and Molly decide they must do their civic duty and begin their efforts to repopulate the world. As they head upstairs to do the deed they engage in some scripted dirty talk that is so painfully bad it’s hilarious. The highlight is probably when Tony drops this gem, “May your uterus be the fresh canvas on which I paint my masterpiece.”  After hearing that line I simultaneously laughed, died a little inside and threw up in my own mouth.  Only a special film like Midget Zombie Takeover can make that happen!

• The ending. The plot of Midget Zombie Takeover ends with an unexpected twist that just goes to show the good guys don’t always win in the end.

What’s Not So Great:

• The plot is a little all over the place.  The story starts slow and then you’re just sort of thrown into the arms of crazy guy and his crazy warnings about being doomed. It’s not totally clear what started the zombie outbreak or just how widespread it is.

• The sound and lighting are bad at times. In particular the hot tub scenes in the beginning of the film are filled with the background drone of the water pump.  That being said we understand this was a film shot in a matter of days with almost no budget. You’ve got to cut it some slack based on that!

• The painfully long and boring opening credits and badminton game scenes.

• The pace of this film is sometimes as slow as the shambling zombies in it. Seriously, this film really does move slowly at times.

• The acting is often bad.  Some moments seem too scripted or too unscripted all at the same time.  Then again, why would expect anything spectacular with a film titled Midget Zombie Takeover?

Last I checked I enjoyed more things than I despised about MZT.  For a film with a $2,000 budget, that’s good enough for me!

The Final Verdict:

3 out of 5

If I was reviewing this movie as a horror or zombie film snob I’d have to give it one star. Yes it’s amateur and lacks some technical expertise. Fortunately, I’m not a zombie film snob. Instead I’m a zombie fan with a good sense of humor and a love for bad horror films. I’m also someone who can admire someone who shot a zombie film over a few days with an anemic budget.  I’m rating MZT as such and I give it a nice 3 star rating. I didn’t despise it and I didn’t hate it. I can honestly say it’s my favorite zombie film with a $2,000 budget that I’ve ever seen. ::CoughcoughandtheONLYonecoughcough::

There are probably some of you out there who will watch Midget Zombie Takeover and insist you could do a better job with the same budget.  To all of you I say go for it. Get it done in HD in four days with a full cast and crew and I’ll be happy to review it here! Until then….shhhh.

Movie Info:

For more information on Midget Zombie Takeover and possibly where to see it in a theater near you, visit the official facebook page for the film.

Snyopsis:

When some college students get together for a hot tub party, they’re shocked to find out that their party is being crashed by some tiny, uninvited guests who are hungry for flesh – human flesh.

Running Time: 1 hr 12 minutes

 Cast: