Zombie Movie Review: Zombie Night

Zombie Night Movie Review

 

I missed Zombie Night when it aired on Syfy back in October. That’s right: Zombie Night is a Syfy original movie and that says all it needs to say right there. Feel free to read the remainder of this review if you feel the need.

I did have some high hopes because Zombie Night features a surprising roster of hit actors from the golden years of my childhood. We’re talking several well known actors that are no strangers to the big screen: Anthony Michael Hall, Daryl Hannah, Allan Ruck and Shirley Jones. You younger zombie fans may have no clue who I’m talking about; trust me when I tell you those are all BIG names.  Sadly even the stars of films I watched over and over again as a child couldn’t save me from Zombie Night.

The plot of the film is simple: two families must survive the zombie apocalypse until dawn. Why dawn? Because the zombies come out at night and disappear at dawn. Why? Beats me! Trust me when I tell you sitting through this one until the final credits won’t offer any clarity. Zombie Night is full of answered questions. Don’t believe me?  Here’s a laundry list of questions that remain unanswered after watching Zombie Night:

  1. Why are people turning into zombies?
  2. Why only at night?
  3. Why does Nana scream like that? She barely knows what’s going on!
  4. If Nana is blind why on earth does she need to carry a lantern to see?
  5. What happens to the zombies at dawn?
  6. Do the zombies come back again at night?
  7. Why do some of the zombies shamble around in classic uncoordinated undead style while others are capable of things like bear hugs, digging, and grabbing their victim and slamming their head against walls in order to drag them away?
  8. Why did that car just randomly explode for absolutely no reason?
  9. Why does throwing your shoe distract a zombie?
  10. If you’re safe from zombies in a tree why on earth would you jump down and run away?
  11. How do you text that fast? Especially when you’re terrified from the zombies that are inches away?
  12. Why would a zombie pick up your phone and attempt to eat it?
  13. Do zombies like the taste of cellphones?
  14. If you chose the above scenario how on earth would you fall into the world’s largest freshly dug grave?
  15. Who barricades a window with two loosely placed 1×4’s?
  16. If you’re trying to prevent someone from leaving your home and jeopardizing the safety of your family, why would you lock them unrestrained and unsupervised in a ground floor room with a window?
  17. Why would you hide from zombies in a greenhouse?
  18. How do you have an elaborate safe room but NO plan on what to do when SHTF?
  19. Why do some people succumb to the zombie virus and turn when they are bitten and others remain uninfected?
  20. Who barricades the inside of basement door that opens out?
  21. Why would you chose to hole up in a mausoleum during the zombie apocalypse? Why would you then choose to hide children in a coffin and put them in a vault in the mausoleum?
  22. Upon rescuing said children from the coffin why on earth would one of your first questions to them be whether or not they wanted pancakes?
  23. How did they get THESE actors to agree to THIS script?
  24. Why am I watching this? (Just kidding!)

Admittedly, I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. It is entirely possible I missed the answers to some of these questions. The fact remains that Zombie Night leaves you scratching your head and asking many questions. (See #23 and #24 above.) Zombie Night is right on par with other Syfy original hits like Sharknado and Sharktopus. It is cheesey zombie goodness.

I wasn’t sure how to rate Zombie Night. Should I rate it like a true zombie film or should I consider this another intentionally hokey and cheese-filled Syfy gem? Then I realized it doesn’t matter. Rated either way this film is about the same: MEH. I’ve seen much worse. I’ve also seen better intentionally campy zombie movies. The bottom line is Zombie Night is just OK and it doesn’t shine at either end of the spectrum.

Should you see it? The answer is yes if you like unanswered questions, plot holes, deliberate bad acting, and characters that make agonizingly stupid decisions. Zombie Night is what it is: a corny Syfy zombie movie that is great for some laughs. If you watch this one expecting perfection you will be extremely disappointed.

 

Final Verdict: 2.5 brains out of 5

2pt5outof5brains

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